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Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Preparing Our Daughters

Excerpts from Srila Prabhupada:

TWO THINGS
"We shall teach the girls two things: One thing is how to become chaste and faithful to their husband, and how to cook nicely. If these two qualifications they have, I will take guarantee to get for them good husband. I'll personally... Yes. These two qualifications required. She must learn how to prepare first-class foodstuff, and she must learn how to become chaste and faithful to the husband. Only these two qualification required. Then her life is successful..." (July 10, 1975, Chicago)

Satsvarupa: You were saying that everyone should take the Deity's prasadam. But it sounds like the women are being trained to cook, so...
Prabhupada: No, no, no. No, no. The thing is that Deity or at home, she must be very first-class cook. That is wanted. That is according to convenience. If possible, they can take prasadam in the temple. If not possible, they must cook. But she must be first-class cook. That is wanted, either in the temple or outside. In India still, 80%, 90%, they are very happy in their family life, never mind one is poor or rich, because the wife knows... to remain chaste and faithful to the husband, and she knows how to cook nicely. (Conversation: July 10, 1975, Chicago)

EXPERT IN COOKING
Prabhupada: India knows how to eat. (Pause) I have traveled all over the world, and this is my experience. Nobody knows how to eat.
Devotee: Nowhere at all, Srila Prabhupäda?
Prabhupäda: Only India. [break] ...every province they have got different dishes. Because the woman, they are trained up how to cook very nice.
Devotee: I even see these boys when I was in Chandigarh, in a dish next door to the temple we were starting there.
Prabhupäda: Woman is meant for that purpose, how to make nice palatable dishes...
In Bengal there is a ceremony after marriage, bahu-bhäta. (?)The newly married girl, she shall cook, and all the relatives, friends, are invited and they appreciate, "Yes, nice cook." Then she is accepted as member of the whole family. Bahu-bhäta.
Devotee: And if not, Prabhupäda? If her cooking is not...
Prabhupäda: Therefore she is trained up.
Devotee: And if she's not trained up.
Prabhupäda: She must be trained up. Just like Rädhäräni, She was trained up in sixty-four arts. Do you think to captivate Krishna is easy thing? How much qualified She must have been so that Krishna was attracted.

Prabhupada: This is Indian attitude. They do not care for the modern, civilized way of life, wasting time reading some nonsense book or going to the bars, the cinema, talking unnecessarily. They do not like. Those who are old style, they do not.
Gopala Krsna: No, I know many women who are very good cooks, I have tasted....
Prabhupada: They have no time to waste time in that way. They must be inclined that I must prepare something nice so that my husband, my children or my, all friends will be very pleased. That is their policy. I wanted that all our girls, they should be expert. And in America they are doing that. They should learn the art of cooking and prepare very nice foodstuffs, daily change of menu. And the children should be so trained up that no more birth. And that is life. (Lecture: SB 6.1.31, January 3, 1977, Bombay)

A LOVING SERVICE MOOD
"Although she was not accustomed to such difficulties, Queen Arci followed her husband in the regulative principles of living in the forest like great sages. She lay down on the ground and ate only fruits, flowers and leaves, and because she was not fit for these activities, she became frail and thin. Yet because of the pleasure she derived in serving her husband, she did not feel any difficulties." -SB 4.23.20

Prabhupada: If the girls are taught to give service to the husband to the greatest satisfaction, there will be no disagreement. (Conversation: July 31, 1976, Paris)

IN ALL CONDITIONS OF LIFE
"The words bhartur vrata-dharma-nisthayä indicate that a woman's duty, or religious principle, is to serve her husband in all conditions. In Vedic civilization a man is taught from the beginning of his life to become a brahmacäri, then an ideal grhastha, then vänaprastha, then sannyäsi, and the wife is taught just to follow the husband strictly in all conditions of life. After the period of brahmacarya, a man accepts a householder's life, and the woman is also taught by her parents to be a chaste wife. Thus when a girl and boy are united, both are trained for a life dedicated to a higher purpose. The boy is trained to execute his duty in accordance with the higher purpose of life, and the girl is trained to follow him. The chaste wife's duty is to keep her husband pleased in householder life in all respects, and when the husband retires from family life, she is to go to the forest and adopt the life of vänaprastha, or vana-väsi. At that time the wife is to follow her husband and take care of him, just as she took care of him in householder life. But when the husband takes the renounced order of life, namely sannyäsa, the wife is to return home and become a saintly woman, setting an example for her children and daughters-in-law and showing them how to live a life of austerity." -SB 4.23.20p

FAITHFUL WIFE AND AFFECTIONATE MOTHER
"These are very important things, that soft-hearted woman, vama-svabhva, they should be given protection. They should be trained up how to become faithful wife, affectionate mother. Then the home will be very happy and without happiness we cannot make any spiritual progress. We must be peaceful. This is the preliminary condition." -SB 1.7.43 lecture, Vrindavan, Oct. 3, 1976
"So women should be trained up to be very faithful and chaste. Then the life will be very happy. That is the only education for woman." -room conversation, 7/13/75, Philadelphia

HOUSEWIFE
Prabhupada: Woman should be expert in cooking. That is their natural tendency. They should be educated how to cook nicely, how to please the husband, how to take care of the children. This is Vedic civilization. In the beginning a woman, childhood, she's trained up by the mother. Then as soon as she is married, formerly, child-marriage, so she's transferred to the care of mother-in-law. There she is trained up. Then she becomes very good housewife, takes care of household affairs, husband, children, and home becomes happy....(Conversation: July 7, 1976, Baltimore)

Prabhupada: Girls should be taught how to become faithful wife, how to learn nice cooking, cleansing, dressing. Simple method. There is no objection of their becoming scholar, but that is not necessary. They have got natural inclination to give service by cooking, cleansing, dressing. Cleanliness is the first necessity. That is hygienic, spiritual, and calm, quiet....(Conversation: January 8, 1977, Bombay)


"Cooking, sewing, things like that do not require schooling, they are learned simply by association...You ask about marriage, yes, actually I want that every woman in the Society should be married. But what is this training to become wives and mothers? No school is required for that, simply association....A woman's real business is to look after household affairs, keep everything neat and clean, and if there is sufficient milk supply available, she should always be engaged in churning butter, making yogurt, curd, so many nice varieties, simply from milk. The woman should be cleaning, sewing, like that. So if you simply practice these things yourselves and show examples, they will learn automatically, one doesn't have to give formal instruction in these matters..." -letter to: Chaya dasi, Feb 16, 1972
SIXTY-FOUR ARTS
Prabhupada: And female children should be taught how to become faithful to the husband, and to learn the arts of cooking, arts of painting-- that should be their subject matter.
Jyotirmayi: Painting?
Prabhupada: Yes, sixty-four arts, Radharani did. Then She could control Krsna.
Jyotirmayi: So after they have learned all the academics, reading, writing, and all these.
Prabhupada: Academic is ordinary, ABCD, that's all. Not very much. But these arts. They should learn how to cook nicely....  -Conversation: July 31, 1976, Paris

STUDYING THE LIVES OF CHASTE WOMEN
Prabhupada: Educate the girls how to become faithful, chaste wife and how to cook nicely. Let them learn varieties of cooking. Is very difficult? These two qualifications, apart from Krsna consciousness, materially they should learn. There are many stories, Nala-Damayanti, then Parvati, Sita, five chaste women in the history. They should read their life. And by fifteenth, sixteenth year they should be married. And if they are qualified, it will be not difficult to find out a nice husband. Here the boys, they do not want to marry because they are not very much inclined to marry unchaste wife. They know it, that I shall marry a girl, she is unchaste. ...  -Conversation: July 10, 1975, Chicago

"Not only was mother Sitä powerful, but any woman who follows in the footsteps of mother Sitä can also become similarly powerful. There are many instances of this in the history of Vedic literature. Whenever we find a description of ideal chaste women, mother Sita is among them. Mandodari, the wife of Rävana, was also very chaste. Similarly, Draupadi was one of five exalted chaste women. As a man must follow great personalities like Brahmä and Närada, a woman must follow the path of such ideal women as Sitä, Mandodari and Draupadi." -SB 9.10.27p

DESIRING A VAISNAVA HUSBAND
"Every woman is expected to be as good and chaste as Devahüti or Bhaväni. Today in Hindu society, unmarried girls are still taught to worship Lord Shiva with the idea that they may get husbands like him. Lord Shiva is the ideal husband, not in the sense of riches or sense gratification, but because he is the greatest of all devotees.... Shambhu, or Lord Shiva, is the ideal Vaisnava. He constantly meditates upon Lord Räma and chants Hare Räma, Hare Räma, Räma Räma, Hare Hare. Lord Shiva has a Vaisnava sampradäya, which is called the Vishnu Svämi-sampradäya. Unmarried girls worship Lord Shiva so that they can expect a husband who is as good a Vaisnava as he. The girls are not taught to select a husband who is very rich or very opulent for material sense gratification; rather, if a girl is fortunate enough to get a husband as good as Lord Shiva in devotional service, then her life becomes perfect. The wife is dependent on the husband, and if the husband is a Vaisnava, then naturally she shares the devotional service of the husband because she renders him service. This reciprocation of service and love between husband and wife is the ideal of a householder's life." -- SB 3.23.2p

PARDA/ SEPARATION OF THE SEXES
Prabhupada: So far gurukula is concerned, that also, I have given program.
They have given the name of "girls." We are not going to do that.
Tamala Krishna: What is that?
Prabhupada: Girls. Boys and girls. That is dangerous.... Girls should be completely separated from the very beginning. They are very dangerous.
Tamala Krishna: So we're... I thought there were girls in Vrindävana now. They said that they're going to have the girls' gurukula behind the boys' gurukula. Gopäla was talking about that.
Prabhupada: No, no, no. No girls.
Tamala Krishna: It should be in another city or somewhere else.
Prabhupada: Yes. They should be taught how to sweep, how to stitch...
Tamala Krishna: Clean.
Prabhupada: ...clean, cook, to be faithful to the husband.
Tamala Krishna: They don't require a big school.
Prabhupada: No, no. That is mistake. They should be taught how to become obedient to the husband.
Tamala Krishna: Yeah, you won't learn that in school.
Prabhupada: Little education, they can...
Tamala Krishna: Yeah. That they can get at home also.
Prabhupada: They should be stopped, this practice of prostitution.  This is a very bad system in Europe and America. The boys and girls, they are educated-coeducation. From the very beginning of their life they become prostitutes. And they encourage.
--April 29, 1977 - Conversation - Bombay

"When the boys and girls become ten or twelve years and above, then [they] should be separated. At that time special care should be taken, because once they become a victim of sex their whole life becomes spoiled." -letter to: Satsvarupa, October 4, 1973

Prabhupada: Woman should be taken care of--as daughter, as wife, as mother, bas. No freedom. Then prostitution. Then spoiled the whole thing. Unwanted children, contraceptive, abortion. Very dangerous....
-Conversation: April 30, 1977, Bombay

Prabhupada: As soon as they allow young girl to mix with young boys, finished.... -Conversation: June 28, 1977, Vrndavana
PRABHUPADA'S VIEW ON COLLEGE FOR WOMEN
"All the children should learn to read and write very nicely, and a little mathematics, so that they will be able to read our books...There is no question of academic education for either boys or girls--simply a little mathematics and being able to read and write well, that's all, no universities. Their higher education they will get from our books, and other things they will get from experience, like preaching, SKP, etc. Alongside the regular classes in reading and writing, the other routine programmes they should also participate in, like arotik, kirtan, preaching, Sankirtan, like that." -letter to: Chaya dasi, Feb 16, 1972

Satsvarupa: Srila Prabhupada, is this school for women also, or just for men?
Prabhupada: For men. Women should automatically learn how to cook, how to cleanse home. (Morning Walk: March 14, 1974, Vrindavan)

Prabhupada: Ordinary education is sufficient, ABCD. This is all nonsense, so big, big, sound education and later on become a prostitute. What is this education? (laughter) To make them prostitute, it doesn't require education.... (Conversation: July 10, 1975, Chicago)

"We give Krsna consciousness both to the woman and man equally. We do not make any such distinction. But to protect them from this exploitation by man, we teach something, that "You do like this. You do like that. You be married. Be settled up. Don't wander independently." We teach them like that. But so far Krsna consciousness is concerned, we equally distribute." - room conversation: Philadelphia, July 13, 1975

"Prostitute means... They are, in Sanskrit, called pumscali. Pumscali means they are moved by other men, pumsacli. There are three kinds of women: [sairini,] sairindhri, pumscali...In this way there are divisions. So some women, they are very easily carried by men. So that is not very good. Therefore I am instructing our GBCs that 'Let our little girls be educated to become faithful and chaste.' That is their qualification. No education required. And the boys should be trained up to become first-class men, samo damas titiksa, like that. And literary, Sanskrit and English, that will make them perfect. If the husband is first class and the wife is chaste and faithful, then the home is heaven." -lecture: SB 6.1.31; San Francisco, July 16, 1975

Prabhupada: My opinion is already there....They should be chaste, faithful to husband. Little literary knowledge, they can read. That's all. Not very much. -conversation: January 31, 1977, Bhubaneshwar

Prabhupada: And woman left alone means prostitution.
Tamala Krsna: That's what's going on now in Bombay, Calcutta. The men send their unmarried daughters to become secretary. She must be...And even before that, they go to college, freely mixing with the men. -6/28/77, Vrndavana

"How to kill child. This is education, huh? Educated girl means how to divorce husband, how to kill child. Is it not? Educated, modern educated girl means how to become unfaithful to the husband, how to divorce and how to kill child....This is the education. The uneducated girls do not do this." -Conversation: Nov. 26, 1975, New Delhi 1976
Click here for Preparing Our Daughters Part II

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