The following is a summary of verses 226-237 from the Sri Vaisnava text Srivaisnava Tipikai for the wife regarding cleanliness, serving prasadam, the contamination period, purity, dealings with other men, serving the husband, and so on. The essence of this piece is the excellent service and sacrifice for pleasing the Lord within the heart of all beings. The etiquette especially can keep one conscious of a loving service mood. These are, therefore, mores to glean from, aiding the conscientious wife in two primary objectives- to keep her husband healthy and peaceful.
As Lord Caitanya was an ideal brahmana, husband, and householder, similiarly the devoted Lakshmipriya was an ideal wife. With a happy heart the supremely chaste Lakshmipriya cooked Niamai's meals. From dawn she was busy with household chores. Her nature was to do everything. Lakshmipriya would draw auspicious designs on the temple room floor, and prepare scents, flowers, incense, ghee lamps and scented water for worshipping the Lord. She always served Tulasi, and respectfully served her mother-in-law, Sacidevi. Although he never mentioned it, Lord Caitanya was extremely pleased by Lakshmipriya's virtuous behavior. -Caitanya Bhagavata
- She (the wife) must cover everything in the kitchen with a lid, clean the rice, dal, vegetables, etc., prepare them, and then cook them while chanting (hymns).
- When the food is prepared, it is offered to God, husband and other devotees. She then eats from what remains.
- During menstruation, the Srivaisnava woman is to stay in the hidden place and on the fourth day at noon, she has her bath (snana) including her "head bath" in the river, tank, well, etc. She is to prepare food for herself but is not to feed anyone else.
- She is not to sleep to sunrise without attending to the call of nature, washing, and doing other domestic work.
- She is not to wear the same sari after the bath.
- She must not sleep during the daytime. If she happens to have a nap, then it is prohibited to prepare food, etc, unless she has a new bath.
- If she sheds tears, attending any other work is prohibited without a bath.
- She must not prepare food during the time of worship or pollute food being served by sneezing or talking loudly so that saliva may fall.
- She is not to allow uncontrollable anger, jealously, back biting, self-praising or harsh words.
- She is not to read any novel composed by the imagination, which disturbs the purity of her mind.
- She is not to talk intimately with another man, laugh with him, move in front of him, move close to him, touch him, look at him or think of him.
- She is to sit in front of her husband on a lower level and is not to stretch out her legs or lie there. She is not to walk noisily, talk loudly, talk against her husband, act against his desire or wish, or go to another man's place.
- Widows should not wear ornaments and colored saris (they must be white or brownish), chew betel leaf, decorate their hair, move with men, talk unnecessarily, and eat excessively.
- The following defects are to be removed by both married women and widows: smoking, snuffing, chewing tobacco, taking modern medicines that are not Ayurvedic, drinking soda, coffee, and brandy. A woman is not to pass urine while standing up. And she is not to give up the Vaisnava tradition and chastity towards God.
- O Sage, she takes her food, after you have eaten, she sits down after you have sat down, she goes to sleep after you have gone to sleep, and rises from bed before you rise.
- She never appears before you without being well-adorned, but when you are away from home, she puts away all her ornaments.
- She never utters your name, wishing you a long life. Of course, she never utters the name of any other person. [I presume this means respectable superiors and other men.]
- She never gets angry, even when you are angry with her. She always puts on a smiling face, even when reproved.
- When ordered "Do this," she replies "Prabhu, consider that it has already been done."
- When called, she quickly comes to you, leaving aside all household works, and says, "Prabhu, why have you called me, please let me know what I can do for you."
- She does not remain for a long time at the household door, nor sleeps there, nor does she give anything to anybody without your permission, and without your asking her, she gets ready all your puja things.
- She eats the remnants of your food and never takes her meals, without first worshipping the devatas, the pitris, and giving food to the guests, servants, cows and beggars.
- She keeps all household utensils and ornaments neat and clean, and she is dexterous and thrifty.
- She never keeps any fasts, nor observes any vow without your permission.
- She never goes to big assemblages and festivities. She does not go on pilgrimages, or to marriage parties. (Keep in mind that Indian high class ladies generally have their own temples and festival arrangements.)
- When you are engaged in some business, or taking rest, she never disturbs you, though some urgent business may call you.
- When you are away from home, she always meditates on you, and leaves aside all ornaments.
- She never makes friendship with Buddhistic nuns, etc. (voidists and mayavadis)
- She never retells gossip, nor talks in a loud voice before her elders."
- Seating: A wife must always sit down only after her husband has been seated. Likewise, she must stand up before her husband stands. She also must never seat herself higher than her husband. She should only sit besides her husband, at his level, on a couch. If her husband is sitting in a chair and she wishes to seat herself, she must do so by sitting on the floor or on a low stool. She may sit at his feet facing him or sit to the left side of his chair facing the same direction he is facing. If she cannot sit in either position, she should remain standing. She must not ever sit to his right, even if lower than her husband, since the person sitting to the right is superior to the person to their left. The husband, being the master of his wife, always occupies the right.
- Sleeping and rising in the morning: The wife must only sleep after her husband has gone to sleep. Likewise, she must rise in the morning before her husband has risen. Before her husband falls asleep she should always rub his feet. She also must not enter the bed dirty or soiled in any way. A woman should rise early in the morning to bathe herself and perform household chores. When her husband rises she must be prepared to greet him with pleasantries and must, at once upon seeing him first thing in the morning, bow low touching his feet in veneration.
- Eating: A proper wife will eat only after her husband and other elders of the household have eaten. She must wait upon them while they dine. After they have eaten, she must ask her husband's permission before she may dine herself. Upon obtaining permission, she must first eat any leftovers remaining on her husband's plate and only then should she think of eating other food. She must eat all food in private and out of view of the rest of the household. The food she prepares must always be food that is healthy and enjoyable for her husband. She must not serve her husband nor herself partake in food that is not pleasing to him.
- Serving the husband on hot days: On hot days, when in the presence of her husband, a wife should constantly attend to him with a fan, keeping him as cool as she can. This includes when he is taking his meals and she is not attending to the table in other ways. What is more, she should keep a set of three towels of different colors on hand to wipe perspiration from his body. One towel is reserved for his head, his shoulders and his neck; another for his arms, his hands and the middle of his body; one towel for his legs and his feet. She must also be ready to fetch him water as he may desire. While she should try and keep dry and drink water herself, she should never be caught fanning herself when her husband is present to be attended upon. She also must not complain of the heat herself. Nor should she dare complain that serving her husband in the described manner is making her hot or uncomfortable. She must be satisfied to serve her husband at all times. (Note: Using the old fashioned Indian fans with a long handle makes it possible to fan one's self while fanning another!)
- Serving the husband on cold days: A wife should bathe her husband with hot water and have tea ready for his consumption. She should fetch extra clothing and covers as needed. She should rub his feet often so as to keep them warm. Just as in hot weather, she should not murmur about weather or serving her husband.
