mama janmani janmani isvara, bhavatad bhaktir ahaituki swayi
In this verse from Siksastaka, Lord Caitanya denounces the four principles so appealing to ordinary religionists- good birth or position, wealth, sense gratification and liberation. For these things the Lord is worshiped. But a pure devotee of the Lord is not interested. A pure devotee simply wants to love Krsna through devotional service.
As mentioned above, janam is the also the desire for a good or important position. We want recognition and status. It is probably the test faced the most often by a woman at home at the present time. Usually it is the women out on the front line serving their guru directly that get any credit, recognition or encouragement. In fact, it is not unusual for women at home to receive discouragement from others, intentionally or unintentionally. Their duties are looked down on thanks to the many years of widespread feminist propaganda against them.
Not long ago, the following situation took place:
"When my Guru Maharaja first arrived at our nearby temple, I planned to get his darshan, but in each attempt I somehow or other failed. He either did not show up, I came at the wrong time, or he arrived late after I had decided to return home. During that time, my husband became very ill, so I finally decided it was better to remain home. While tending to my husband, however, I was surprised by a visitor who, in so many words, told me that I was an impersonalist, because I had not yet taken darshan with my spiritual master.
"Even though I should have simply admitted the truth about my fallen self, I blurted out something like, 'Serving my husband is as good as serving my spiritual master.' And by the incredulous look on his face, however, I could tell that the prabhu was not satisfied with my reply.
"He said, 'Really? How so?'
"Of course, one could easily misunderstand a female devotee, whose activities are often hidden from the public eye, for apparently paying more attention to family matters rather than the temple services and preaching engagements her guru's other disciples are constantly engaged in, but that's because it's not so easy to understand exactly what is going on in the heart. In that regard, the following stories come to mind:
"One day, while staying at the asrama of Sailapurna, an intimate disciple of Sri Yamunacarya, Ramanujacarya observed that his cousin Govinda was lying down upon his guru maharaja's bed after preparing it. Ramanuja must have been disturbed by his cousin's apparently disrespectful behavior, because he went to inform Govinda's guru, Sailapurna, about it. Sailapurna then called and asked Govinda, 'Do you know what happens to someone who sees it fit to lie down upon his own guru's bed?'
"'Yes, such a person is certainly destined for hell.' Govinda replied calmly.
"'Then why you are behaving in this way?' Sailapurna continued.
"Govinda replied, 'Every day, dear Guru Maharaja, I carefully prepare your bed, but then I lie down upon it to make sure it will be comfortable for you and that your rest will be undisturbed. To ensure your satisfaction, I am willing to go to hell if necessary.'
"When Ramanujacarya heard this, he immediately apologised to his beloved cousin for misjudging him.
"Then, shortly after his initiation, Govinda was instructed by Sailapurna to travel with Ramanuja and render services to him instead. Govinda sadly took this instruction, for he was very much attached to directly serving his spiritual master and could hardly bear the separation from him. Ramanuja gradually came to realize his cousin's disatisfaction and therefore told him that he could return to his Guru Maharaja's asrama.
"When Govinda returned, however, Sailapurna wouldn't even look at him, nor call him to take prasadam.
"Finally, Sailapurna's wife, feeling compassion for Govinda, pleaded, 'You may not speak to Govinda, but you must at least feed him!'
"'It is not my duty to feed an animal that has been sold,' was Sailapurna's reply. 'He should take shelter of his new master alone.'
"Govinda overheard this and immediately understood his spiritual master's mind. He returned to Ramanuja. This time, however, he very happily and very meticulously engaged in his service just as if he were serving his guru maharaja.
"So, in the first story, the motive of the devotee was misunderstood, and in the second story, the position of the devotee was misunderstood. Similar to these incidents, HG Satsvarupa Goswami, who in his early days as a disciple had to spend many hours away from the temple to work a desk job, tells the following story that Srila Prabhupada had told to him:
"There was once a faithful wife who had an ugly husband with a morose disposition. One day his wife asked, 'Why are you morose? I do anything you want, and still you feel morose. Why is that?'
"'I wish to have sex with a certain prostitute,' he admitted, 'but she costs thousands of dollars just for a night, and I cannot afford her.'
"The faithful wife said to him, 'Don’t worry. I shall arrange it.'
"She immediately went to the prostitute’s house and began to personally attend her, cleaning her room and performing other such services. When the prostitute came and noticed her activity, the faithful wife explained, 'My husband desires to enjoy you, and I hope that you will take my services as payment, so that he might spend a night with you.'
"The prostitute laughed, 'Don’t you realize that I cost ten thousand dollars a night? How can you ever raise the money?'
"So in addition to serving the prostitute, the wife herself turned to prostitution and eventually raised the required amount of money. She returned to her husband and said, 'All right You can go to that prostitute now,' and he went at once."
"SDG continued, 'Srila Prabhupäda said that although people may say that the wife was crazy and immoral, nevertheless she was unquestionably faithful. ...
'''That afternoon, visiting clients on my job, I walked through the streets in the bliss of responsibility. (Although not serving directly at the temple), I felt deeply entrusted with a duty from my father, my spiritual master, and to discharge it faithfully was my eternal duty. Due to his words I could work at my ordinary civil service job with a firm sense of eternal life because it was God’s work, as confirmed by the spiritual master...
"'I used to go to work chanting on my beads, with the words of the Absolute Truth in my ears and the vision of the spiritual master’s holy form fresh in my mind’s eye.' -- excerpt from "Second Birth" by Satsvarupa Dasa Gowami, BTG #45
"Remembering the lesson of such events, I elaborated for my doubtful visitor why I, too, was not more directly involved with the temple at that time, 'In my experience, following my spiritual master's instructions to serve my husband is non different than having his direct darshan'.
"And since the Lord was now appearing to me in the form of my critical guest, I tried hard to focus on attentive service instead of my personal dishonor."
"Regardless of one’s circumstances, if one fully engages his activities, mind and words in the devotional service of the Lord, he should be understood to be a liberated person.”--Srila Rupa Goswami
You know, Lord,
How I serve You
With great emotional fervor
In the limelight.
You know how eagerly
I speak for You
At a women’s club.
You know how I effervesce
When I promote
A fellowship group.
You know my genuine enthusiasm
At a Bible study.
But how would I react, I wonder,
If You pointed to a basin of water
And asked me to wash
The calloused feet
Of a bent and wrinkled old woman
Day after day,
Month after month,
In a room where nobody saw
And nobody knew.
( by Ruth Harms)