For an advancing devotee, rules and regulations in the sastras no longer seem like restrictions. Instead, they become enhancements for one's service; they become expressions of love, which are always voluntary. In this connection, the Padma Purana gives many ways to please guru and Krishna via serving one's beloved husband. Not only that, there is just plain, good advice for living a peaceful householder life:
'A woman treats her husband as God.'
'Even if her husband is not good, she should consider her duty to rectify modestly, till her last breath.'
'A woman is made to obey at every stage of her existence. As a daughter, it is to her father and mother she owes submission. As a wife, she should obey her husband, father-in-law and mother-in-law. As widow, to her sons. At no period of life is a woman seen to be mistress of her own, with few exceptions.'
'She must always be attentive and diligent in all her domestic duties. She should be watchful over her temper, never covetous of the goods of others, never be quarrelsome, and always remain calm in her conduct and manners.'
'She should not interact much with the male visitors and preferably speak less and instead concentrate in her daily job.'
'She is not supposed to wish to possess other people's belongings.'
'If her husband laughs, she must laugh; if he is sad, she must be sad; if he cries, she must cry; if he ask questions, she must answer. In this way, she can give proof of her good disposition.'
'A wife must eat only after her husband has had his fill. If the latter fasts, she shall fast, too.'
'She cannot demand too much affection from her father-in-law, her mother-in-law, or her husband.'
'She should bathe every day and rub saffron on her body. Her attire should be clean, her eyelids tinged with antimony and her forehead marked with red pigment with well-combed and adorned hair. This way she will look like the goddess Lakshmi.'
'Before her husband, she should let her words fall softly and sweetly from her mouth. '
'She must be careful to sweep her house every day, to smooth the floor with a layer of cow-dung, and to decorate it with white tracery. She must keep the cooking vessels clean, and must be ready with the meals at the proper hours.'
'If her husband has gone out for some work or for any other purpose, she shall watch for the moment of his return and shall go to meet him. She shall go before him into the house, shall hand him a stool to sit down upon, and shall serve up the food prepared to his taste.'
'She shall inform him in time of what is wanted in the house, and shall manage with care what he brings home.'
'Prudent in her conversation, she must be careful in conversing with gurus, sannyasis, strangers, servants, and other persons, to adopt a tone suitable to the position of each.'
‘All the money with which her husband entrusts her, she should not take any of it surreptitiously for herself or for her parents, or even, without her husband's permission, for works of charity.'
'She must never meddle with the affairs of others, nor lend ear to stories of the good luck or misfortune which has befallen others.'
'A wife, during the absence of her husband, should strictly conform to his parting counsels. She should be heedless of her attire, and should not devote herself, under the plea of devotion to the gods, to any special acts of piety.'
'In the presence of her husband, a wife must not look here and there, but must keep her eyes fixed on him, in readiness to receive his orders. When he speaks, she must not interrupt him, nor speak to anybody else. When he calls her, she must leave everything and run to him.'
'If her husband misbehaves with her, it is then expected from a good wife that she should accept it silently, and with her own essence she should wait for that day when her husband will get rectified and behave properly with her. She should not remember such misbehavior and behave badly or take revenge.'
'If any of her relatives or friends invite her to their house on the occasion of some feast or ceremony, she shall not go there without the permission of her husband. If her husband is not going there, she can only go there when accompanied by some elderly woman. She shall remain there for as short a time as possible, and on her return she shall render a faithful account to her husband of all that she has seen or heard; she shall then resume her domestic duties.'
'While her husband is absent, she shall sleep with one of her female relatives, and not alone. Generally the wife makes constant inquiries about the health of her husband and sends constant messages to her husband so that he returns as soon as possible. She offers prayers to the gods for
him.
'If, in the event of her husband dying, she resolves to die with him, she is considered to be glorious and happiest woman in the world. But if she survives after her husband's death, as a virtuous wife she leads a balanced life with a pious mind and waits for death, so that she can unite with her husband in heaven.'
'A wife can enjoy no true happiness unless she attains it through her husband. It is he who gives her children; provides her with clothes and jewels. It is he who supplies her with flowers, sandalwood, saffron, and all good things.'
'A woman treats her husband as God.'
'Even if her husband is not good, she should consider her duty to rectify modestly, till her last breath.'
'A woman is made to obey at every stage of her existence. As a daughter, it is to her father and mother she owes submission. As a wife, she should obey her husband, father-in-law and mother-in-law. As widow, to her sons. At no period of life is a woman seen to be mistress of her own, with few exceptions.'
'She must always be attentive and diligent in all her domestic duties. She should be watchful over her temper, never covetous of the goods of others, never be quarrelsome, and always remain calm in her conduct and manners.'
'She should not interact much with the male visitors and preferably speak less and instead concentrate in her daily job.'
'She is not supposed to wish to possess other people's belongings.'
'If her husband laughs, she must laugh; if he is sad, she must be sad; if he cries, she must cry; if he ask questions, she must answer. In this way, she can give proof of her good disposition.'
'A wife must eat only after her husband has had his fill. If the latter fasts, she shall fast, too.'
'She cannot demand too much affection from her father-in-law, her mother-in-law, or her husband.'
'She should bathe every day and rub saffron on her body. Her attire should be clean, her eyelids tinged with antimony and her forehead marked with red pigment with well-combed and adorned hair. This way she will look like the goddess Lakshmi.'
'Before her husband, she should let her words fall softly and sweetly from her mouth. '
'She must be careful to sweep her house every day, to smooth the floor with a layer of cow-dung, and to decorate it with white tracery. She must keep the cooking vessels clean, and must be ready with the meals at the proper hours.'
'If her husband has gone out for some work or for any other purpose, she shall watch for the moment of his return and shall go to meet him. She shall go before him into the house, shall hand him a stool to sit down upon, and shall serve up the food prepared to his taste.'
'She shall inform him in time of what is wanted in the house, and shall manage with care what he brings home.'
'Prudent in her conversation, she must be careful in conversing with gurus, sannyasis, strangers, servants, and other persons, to adopt a tone suitable to the position of each.'
‘All the money with which her husband entrusts her, she should not take any of it surreptitiously for herself or for her parents, or even, without her husband's permission, for works of charity.'
'She must never meddle with the affairs of others, nor lend ear to stories of the good luck or misfortune which has befallen others.'
'A wife, during the absence of her husband, should strictly conform to his parting counsels. She should be heedless of her attire, and should not devote herself, under the plea of devotion to the gods, to any special acts of piety.'
'In the presence of her husband, a wife must not look here and there, but must keep her eyes fixed on him, in readiness to receive his orders. When he speaks, she must not interrupt him, nor speak to anybody else. When he calls her, she must leave everything and run to him.'
'If her husband misbehaves with her, it is then expected from a good wife that she should accept it silently, and with her own essence she should wait for that day when her husband will get rectified and behave properly with her. She should not remember such misbehavior and behave badly or take revenge.'
'If any of her relatives or friends invite her to their house on the occasion of some feast or ceremony, she shall not go there without the permission of her husband. If her husband is not going there, she can only go there when accompanied by some elderly woman. She shall remain there for as short a time as possible, and on her return she shall render a faithful account to her husband of all that she has seen or heard; she shall then resume her domestic duties.'
'While her husband is absent, she shall sleep with one of her female relatives, and not alone. Generally the wife makes constant inquiries about the health of her husband and sends constant messages to her husband so that he returns as soon as possible. She offers prayers to the gods for
him.
'If, in the event of her husband dying, she resolves to die with him, she is considered to be glorious and happiest woman in the world. But if she survives after her husband's death, as a virtuous wife she leads a balanced life with a pious mind and waits for death, so that she can unite with her husband in heaven.'
'A wife can enjoy no true happiness unless she attains it through her husband. It is he who gives her children; provides her with clothes and jewels. It is he who supplies her with flowers, sandalwood, saffron, and all good things.'