Updated 2/27/2015
First of all, if someone is providing me with a home and all that is needed for a happy and healthy life, is he not worthy of worship? I love the Indian movies where the husband returns home and the wife first greets him a lamp and flowers and so on!
But a question may be raised, if a woman is seeing Krishna in everyone and everything, thinking of the Lord 24/7, or simply aspiring to by strictly following the bhakti yoga path by which Krishna orders in Bg. 8.7 and 18.65 to always think of Him, why do some other parts of sastra say things like, "Her mind should only think of her husband’s form, qualities, and activities"?
In my understanding, such is advised for an ordinary woman, unaware of Krishna's supreme positon. Why? In this regard, Burijana prabhu writes in his Gita commentary on verse 3.9
"Every soul in the material world attempts (either subtly or grossly) to position himself—not Krishna—as the enjoyer and controller. This is true regardless of the body the soul inhabits. The striving of ignorant animals for pleasure, according to their limited capacity, is the same as that of spiritually undeveloped humans, who, in their attempt to taste sensual pleasure, act in ignorance.
"The Vedas and their supplements contain 100,000 lakhs of verses (one lakh equals 100,000); of these, a great majority discuss fruitive activities, and only a small percentage discuss jnäna-kanda, which leads the living entity toward transcendental knowledge and ultimately to an understanding of the Supreme Personality of Godhead. The Vedic culture provides a system by which the materially attached person can satisfy his material desires yet gradually become purified. Therefore such a high percentage of Vedic information centers on karma-kända, the performance of sacrifices to reach higher planets and to satisfy superior beings, the demigods.
"To become situated under the protection of such a system, one must agree to regulate his enjoyment by the descending authority of Vedic formulas. One following that system does not act simply as he desires. His mood of subservience to God’s order in the form of the Vedas—even though his purpose is to attain sense pleasures—is purifying, for he is following Krishna’s system. By following this Vedic system of sacrifice, one also implicitly accepts the principle that he is not independent; rather, his enjoyment depends upon the satisfaction of higher authorities. Srila Prabhupäda confirms this in his purport to Srimad-Bhägavatam 2.7.32: 'Sacrifices recommended in the Vedic literature for satisfaction of the demigods are a sort of inducement to the sacrificers to realize the existence of higher authorities.' Such followers of the Vedas are called karma-kändis." (As They Surrender Unto Me)
One may consider, therefore, the worship of the husband by an ordinary wife to be similar in purpose to the worship of a demigod. By her chastity and devotion to her husband she is elevated. SB 6.18.33-34 and purport states:
"A husband is the supreme demigod for a woman. The Supreme Personality of Godhead, Lord Väsudeva, the husband of the goddess of fortune, is situated in everyone's heart and is worshiped through the various names and forms of the demigods by fruitive workers. Similarly, a husband represents the Lord as the object of worship for a woman."
PURPORT:
"The Lord says in Bhagavad-gitä (9.23): 'Whatever a man may sacrifice to other gods, O son of Kunti, is really meant for Me alone, but it is offered without true understanding.' The demigods are various assistants who act like the hands and legs of the Supreme Personality of Godhead. One who is not in direct touch with the Supreme Lord and cannot conceive of the exalted position of the Lord is sometimes advised to worship the demigods as various parts of the Lord. If women, who are usually very much attached to their husbands, worship their husbands as representatives of Väsudeva, the women benefit, just as Ajämila benefited by calling for Narayana, his son. Ajämila was concerned with his son, but because of his attachment to the name of Narayana, he attained salvation simply by chanting that name. In India a husband is still called pati-guru, the husband spiritual master... As long as one is very much attached to material sense gratification, the worship of the demigods or the worship of one's husband is recommended."
In this way a woman may perform austerity and sacrifice, thus being saved from the tendency toward gross selfishness (SB 6.18.42p)
Yet, for one who does know Krishna as the goal of life, such husband worship is not very much appreciated. Queen Rukmini stated, "Any unfortunate woman who has never heard of Your glories may accept such a man as her husband, but a woman who has learned about You—that You are praised not only in this world but in the halls of the great demigods like Lord Brahmä and Lord Shiva—will not accept anyone besides You as her husband. A man within this material world is just a dead body. In fact, superficially, the living entity is covered by this body, which is nothing but a bag of skin decorated with a beard and mustache, hairs on the body, nails on the fingers, and hairs on the head. Within this decorated bag are bunches of muscles, bundles of bones, and pools of blood, always mixed with stool, urine, mucus, bile and polluted air and enjoyed by different kinds of insects and germs. A foolish woman accepts such a dead body as her husband and, in sheer misunderstanding, loves him as her dear companion. This is possible only because such a woman has never relished the ever-blissful fragrance of Your lotus feet." -Krishna Book 60
The gopis also prayed, "Our dear Krishna, as an expert in religion You have advised us that the proper religious duty for women is to faithfully serve their husbands, children and other relatives. We agree that this principle is valid, but actually this service should be rendered to You. After all, O Lord, You are the dearmost friend of all embodied souls. You are their most intimate relative and indeed their very Self." SB 10.9.32
Laxmidevi also prayed: "My dear Lord, You are certainly the fully independent master of all the senses. Therefore all women who worship You by strictly observing vows because they wish to acquire a husband to satisfy their senses are surely under illusion. They do not know that such a husband cannot actually give protection to them or their children. Nor can he protect their wealth or duration of life, for he himself is dependent on time, fruitive results and the modes of nature, which are all subordinate to You.
Similarly, Bhurijana prabhu continues, "As a great emperor of the world, Mahäräja Pariksit had to observe such regulations of the Vedic karma-kändiya section, but by his slight association with Sukadeva Gosvämi he could perfectly understand that Lord Krishna, the Absolute Personality of Godhead (Väsudeva), for whom he had a natural love since his birth, is everything, and thus he fixed his mind firmly upon Him, renouncing all modes of Vedic karma-kändiya activities...
"As soon as a person accepts his position as a servant of Krishna...he is no longer on the same step-by-step path as other practitioners. Although he may not be fully realized and may still have material attachments, nevertheless, he is more fortunate because he has acknowledged the ultimate goal and will, by steady and appropriate practice, gradually advance in a way that appears parallel to other practitioners but in fact is not..." -As They Surrender Unto Me
Krishna consciousness, therefore, means instead of moving step by step on the yoga ladder, one has been placed immediately on the highest rung. Due to the incomparable sweetness of tasting the nectar of Krishna's lotus feet, one who begins devotional service will automatically develop all the necessary qualifications in order to continue upon that platform. It is an immersion process, similar to the concept that by giving children a love for writing first, then they'll naturally want to learn the mechanics and so on to improve upon. In Kali yuga, women converts to Lord Chaitanya's sankirtana movement generally are not trained in chastity or selfless service from the beginning of their lives, but will find it easy because of attraction for Krishna. In this way, varnasrama is subservient to bhakti, not the other way around: "The value of such scientific divisions of human society can be ascertained only in terms of the proportionate development of devotional service to the Lord." -SB 2.8.16p
If therefore, by the mercy of Lord Caitanya Mahaprabhu, love for Krishna is now easily available, why not take it? Ramananda Raya said we must take it without delay: "Pure devotional service in Krishna consciousness cannot be had even by pious activity in hundreds and thousands of lives. It can be attained only by paying one price—that is, intense greed to obtain it. If it is available somewhere, one must purchase it without delay.’” -CC Madhya 8.70
All living beings are given this opportunity. Krishna says in Bhagavad gita: "Those who take shelter in Me, though they be of lower birth—women, vaisyas [merchants] and südras [workers]—can attain the supreme destination." -Bg 9.32 Actually, Krishna consciousness is absolutely essential for the living being. Otherwise, one continues the risky cycle of repeated birth and death, having wasted his human form of life.
"Any person who is very seriously engaged in his occupational duties in the varnas and äsramas, and who does not develop love for the Supreme Personality of Godhead, Väsudeva, should be understood to be simply spoiling his human form of life." -NOD5
"The äcäryas give the following example. If a married woman is attached to another man, or if a man has an attachment for a woman other than his wife, then the attachment is to be considered very strong. One with such an attachment is always thinking of the loved one. The wife who is thinking of her lover is always thinking of meeting him, even while she is carrying out her household chores. In fact, she carries out her household work even more carefully so her husband will not suspect her attachment. Similarly, we should always remember the supreme lover, Sri Krishna, and at the same time perform our material duties very nicely. A strong sense of love is required here. If we have a strong sense of love for the Supreme Lord, then we can discharge our duty and at the same time remember Him. But we have to develop that sense of love." --Bg Intro
This analogy from the acaryas is the answer to the question raised in this post; it gives the middle road. In this way we may always think of pleasing the Supreme deity of Krishna within the heart of everyone, especially by chanting His holy names and at the same time enthusiastically executing our prescribed duty to lovingly serve our husbands. (SB 1.5.32)
"In this body there is another, a transcendental enjoyer who is the Lord, the supreme proprietor, who exists as the overseer and permitter, and who is known as the Supersoul." Bhagavad gita 13.23
And in this way, always working for the witness and enjoyer within, husband worship becomes deity worship.
First of all, if someone is providing me with a home and all that is needed for a happy and healthy life, is he not worthy of worship? I love the Indian movies where the husband returns home and the wife first greets him a lamp and flowers and so on!
But a question may be raised, if a woman is seeing Krishna in everyone and everything, thinking of the Lord 24/7, or simply aspiring to by strictly following the bhakti yoga path by which Krishna orders in Bg. 8.7 and 18.65 to always think of Him, why do some other parts of sastra say things like, "Her mind should only think of her husband’s form, qualities, and activities"?
In my understanding, such is advised for an ordinary woman, unaware of Krishna's supreme positon. Why? In this regard, Burijana prabhu writes in his Gita commentary on verse 3.9
"Every soul in the material world attempts (either subtly or grossly) to position himself—not Krishna—as the enjoyer and controller. This is true regardless of the body the soul inhabits. The striving of ignorant animals for pleasure, according to their limited capacity, is the same as that of spiritually undeveloped humans, who, in their attempt to taste sensual pleasure, act in ignorance.
"The Vedas and their supplements contain 100,000 lakhs of verses (one lakh equals 100,000); of these, a great majority discuss fruitive activities, and only a small percentage discuss jnäna-kanda, which leads the living entity toward transcendental knowledge and ultimately to an understanding of the Supreme Personality of Godhead. The Vedic culture provides a system by which the materially attached person can satisfy his material desires yet gradually become purified. Therefore such a high percentage of Vedic information centers on karma-kända, the performance of sacrifices to reach higher planets and to satisfy superior beings, the demigods.
"To become situated under the protection of such a system, one must agree to regulate his enjoyment by the descending authority of Vedic formulas. One following that system does not act simply as he desires. His mood of subservience to God’s order in the form of the Vedas—even though his purpose is to attain sense pleasures—is purifying, for he is following Krishna’s system. By following this Vedic system of sacrifice, one also implicitly accepts the principle that he is not independent; rather, his enjoyment depends upon the satisfaction of higher authorities. Srila Prabhupäda confirms this in his purport to Srimad-Bhägavatam 2.7.32: 'Sacrifices recommended in the Vedic literature for satisfaction of the demigods are a sort of inducement to the sacrificers to realize the existence of higher authorities.' Such followers of the Vedas are called karma-kändis." (As They Surrender Unto Me)
One may consider, therefore, the worship of the husband by an ordinary wife to be similar in purpose to the worship of a demigod. By her chastity and devotion to her husband she is elevated. SB 6.18.33-34 and purport states:
"A husband is the supreme demigod for a woman. The Supreme Personality of Godhead, Lord Väsudeva, the husband of the goddess of fortune, is situated in everyone's heart and is worshiped through the various names and forms of the demigods by fruitive workers. Similarly, a husband represents the Lord as the object of worship for a woman."
PURPORT:
"The Lord says in Bhagavad-gitä (9.23): 'Whatever a man may sacrifice to other gods, O son of Kunti, is really meant for Me alone, but it is offered without true understanding.' The demigods are various assistants who act like the hands and legs of the Supreme Personality of Godhead. One who is not in direct touch with the Supreme Lord and cannot conceive of the exalted position of the Lord is sometimes advised to worship the demigods as various parts of the Lord. If women, who are usually very much attached to their husbands, worship their husbands as representatives of Väsudeva, the women benefit, just as Ajämila benefited by calling for Narayana, his son. Ajämila was concerned with his son, but because of his attachment to the name of Narayana, he attained salvation simply by chanting that name. In India a husband is still called pati-guru, the husband spiritual master... As long as one is very much attached to material sense gratification, the worship of the demigods or the worship of one's husband is recommended."
In this way a woman may perform austerity and sacrifice, thus being saved from the tendency toward gross selfishness (SB 6.18.42p)
Yet, for one who does know Krishna as the goal of life, such husband worship is not very much appreciated. Queen Rukmini stated, "Any unfortunate woman who has never heard of Your glories may accept such a man as her husband, but a woman who has learned about You—that You are praised not only in this world but in the halls of the great demigods like Lord Brahmä and Lord Shiva—will not accept anyone besides You as her husband. A man within this material world is just a dead body. In fact, superficially, the living entity is covered by this body, which is nothing but a bag of skin decorated with a beard and mustache, hairs on the body, nails on the fingers, and hairs on the head. Within this decorated bag are bunches of muscles, bundles of bones, and pools of blood, always mixed with stool, urine, mucus, bile and polluted air and enjoyed by different kinds of insects and germs. A foolish woman accepts such a dead body as her husband and, in sheer misunderstanding, loves him as her dear companion. This is possible only because such a woman has never relished the ever-blissful fragrance of Your lotus feet." -Krishna Book 60
The gopis also prayed, "Our dear Krishna, as an expert in religion You have advised us that the proper religious duty for women is to faithfully serve their husbands, children and other relatives. We agree that this principle is valid, but actually this service should be rendered to You. After all, O Lord, You are the dearmost friend of all embodied souls. You are their most intimate relative and indeed their very Self." SB 10.9.32
Laxmidevi also prayed: "My dear Lord, You are certainly the fully independent master of all the senses. Therefore all women who worship You by strictly observing vows because they wish to acquire a husband to satisfy their senses are surely under illusion. They do not know that such a husband cannot actually give protection to them or their children. Nor can he protect their wealth or duration of life, for he himself is dependent on time, fruitive results and the modes of nature, which are all subordinate to You.
"He alone who is never
afraid but who, on the contrary, gives complete shelter to all fearful
persons can actually become a husband and protector. Therefore, my Lord,
you are the only husband, and no one else can claim this position. If
you were not the only husband, You would be afraid of others. Therefore
persons learned in all Vedic literature accept only Your Lordship as
everyone’s master, and they think no one else a better husband and
protector than You." -SB 5.18.18-20
Similarly, Bhurijana prabhu continues, "As a great emperor of the world, Mahäräja Pariksit had to observe such regulations of the Vedic karma-kändiya section, but by his slight association with Sukadeva Gosvämi he could perfectly understand that Lord Krishna, the Absolute Personality of Godhead (Väsudeva), for whom he had a natural love since his birth, is everything, and thus he fixed his mind firmly upon Him, renouncing all modes of Vedic karma-kändiya activities...
"As soon as a person accepts his position as a servant of Krishna...he is no longer on the same step-by-step path as other practitioners. Although he may not be fully realized and may still have material attachments, nevertheless, he is more fortunate because he has acknowledged the ultimate goal and will, by steady and appropriate practice, gradually advance in a way that appears parallel to other practitioners but in fact is not..." -As They Surrender Unto Me
Krishna consciousness, therefore, means instead of moving step by step on the yoga ladder, one has been placed immediately on the highest rung. Due to the incomparable sweetness of tasting the nectar of Krishna's lotus feet, one who begins devotional service will automatically develop all the necessary qualifications in order to continue upon that platform. It is an immersion process, similar to the concept that by giving children a love for writing first, then they'll naturally want to learn the mechanics and so on to improve upon. In Kali yuga, women converts to Lord Chaitanya's sankirtana movement generally are not trained in chastity or selfless service from the beginning of their lives, but will find it easy because of attraction for Krishna. In this way, varnasrama is subservient to bhakti, not the other way around: "The value of such scientific divisions of human society can be ascertained only in terms of the proportionate development of devotional service to the Lord." -SB 2.8.16p
Srila
Bhaktivinoda also writes: "The renunciation arising from bhakti is the beauty
of devotional life. To become renounced and then search out bhakti is
unnatural and in most cases disastrous. Renunciation or detachment is
the special ornament of the person who has attained bhava. It is not an
anga of bhakti but a symptom of bhakti." -Chaitanya Siksamrta 2
If therefore, by the mercy of Lord Caitanya Mahaprabhu, love for Krishna is now easily available, why not take it? Ramananda Raya said we must take it without delay: "Pure devotional service in Krishna consciousness cannot be had even by pious activity in hundreds and thousands of lives. It can be attained only by paying one price—that is, intense greed to obtain it. If it is available somewhere, one must purchase it without delay.’” -CC Madhya 8.70
All living beings are given this opportunity. Krishna says in Bhagavad gita: "Those who take shelter in Me, though they be of lower birth—women, vaisyas [merchants] and südras [workers]—can attain the supreme destination." -Bg 9.32 Actually, Krishna consciousness is absolutely essential for the living being. Otherwise, one continues the risky cycle of repeated birth and death, having wasted his human form of life.
"Any person who is very seriously engaged in his occupational duties in the varnas and äsramas, and who does not develop love for the Supreme Personality of Godhead, Väsudeva, should be understood to be simply spoiling his human form of life." -NOD5
"The äcäryas give the following example. If a married woman is attached to another man, or if a man has an attachment for a woman other than his wife, then the attachment is to be considered very strong. One with such an attachment is always thinking of the loved one. The wife who is thinking of her lover is always thinking of meeting him, even while she is carrying out her household chores. In fact, she carries out her household work even more carefully so her husband will not suspect her attachment. Similarly, we should always remember the supreme lover, Sri Krishna, and at the same time perform our material duties very nicely. A strong sense of love is required here. If we have a strong sense of love for the Supreme Lord, then we can discharge our duty and at the same time remember Him. But we have to develop that sense of love." --Bg Intro
This analogy from the acaryas is the answer to the question raised in this post; it gives the middle road. In this way we may always think of pleasing the Supreme deity of Krishna within the heart of everyone, especially by chanting His holy names and at the same time enthusiastically executing our prescribed duty to lovingly serve our husbands. (SB 1.5.32)
"In this body there is another, a transcendental enjoyer who is the Lord, the supreme proprietor, who exists as the overseer and permitter, and who is known as the Supersoul." Bhagavad gita 13.23
And in this way, always working for the witness and enjoyer within, husband worship becomes deity worship.