A devotee, like a bee, looks for honey. In other words, he (or she) appreciates the service rendered by others to Lord Krishna, and fans the spark of devotion by encouraging words and personal enthusiasm. Consequently, such a devotee, unless it is his duty towards his dependents, does not dwell on the faults of others. He knows that because the apparent material contamination is related to a person's past karma, it is temporary and in that sense false. His focus instead is that devotees are busy "in the shower" so to speak, gradually becoming cleansed and purified by following the process of Krishna consciousness. He looks beyond the surface.
"The difference between a devotee and a nondevotee is this, just like the bee and the fly: the bee always is attracted by the honey and flies go to the open sores. So the devotee is only attracted by the good qualities in other people and does not see their faults. He is friend to everyone and in this way he finds his life sublime." -letter, 11/18/71, Delhi
"The example may be given in this connection that sometimes dirty foam or garbage is seen floating on the water of the Ganges. This is called nira-dharma, a function of the water. But one who goes to the Ganges does not mind the foam and dirty things floating in the water. With his hand, he pushes away such nasty things, bathes in the Ganges and gains the beneficial results. Therefore, one who is situated in the spiritual status of life is unaffected by foam and garbage—or any superficial dirty things." SB10.4.20p
Another feature of such a devotee is that instead of complaining about others not exhibiting the proper standards, he is more concerned with his own faults; he strives to become a good example himself. In the process he realizes the effort required, the pitfalls to watch out for, and the special mercy and happiness gained, all of which may be shared with others.
A GOOD EXERCISE
Looking for the good can also be applied during those times when our husbands appear less than perfect. An elderly god sister, who is a kind friend and mentor to many, describes an exercise in this regard called "Folding It Back". She suggests listing a husband's annoying characteristics on one side of a piece of paper; list his more redeeming qualities on the other. Then, when times get tough, one can fold back the detracting side in order to focus on her husband's good qualities, appreciating what's good about the relationship.
THE MAIN QUALIFICATION
Generally speaking, ISKCON men are saints compared to the rest of the world. In touch with the Supreme Personality of Godhead, they are more likely situated in the mode of goodness, or at least striving to improve themselves, and they are not atheistic.
“So now, somebody may say that 'If a devotee is engaged in the service of the Lord, that’s all right, but if his behavior is not up to the standard, then what happens to him?' Of course, a devotee is naturally ...developing the twenty-six good qualities, but even if he does not develop those qualities... Of course, that very quality, that he is a devotee of Krishna, that is sufficient. But still, if somebody is not up to the point, but he is unflinching, not moving, he is perfect devotee of Krishna... His only qualification is that he is acting in Krishna consciousness sincerely...
"Suppose I have got some bad character from the beginning of my life, but I have understood that 'Krishna consciousness is very nice. I shall take to it.' So I am trying, trying my best. But at the same time, because I am habituated to something, I cannot give it up. Although I know that this, my habit, is not good, but still, habit is the second nature. I cannot give it up. So Lord Krishna recommends that 'Still, he is good. There is no question that he is not a sädhu or he is not an honest, he is not religious man. That simple one qualification, that he is Krishna conscious, and he is acting sincerely, but failing sometime, but still, he is to be taken as sädhu.' Sädhu means honest, religious, pious... And one may say that 'Yes, because he is devotee of God, devotee of Krishna, we may call him sädhu, but not cent percent.' But Krishna says, 'No, cent percent sädhu. In spite of his bad character, he is cent percent sädhu.'
"So this is the recommendation. Why? Why is Krishna stressing on this point?...Su-duräcärah means that according to time, according to circumstances, according to so many... There are influences. Just like I have come to your country. So far rigid regulation and rules are concerned, in the beginning, of course, we do not find such opportunities to strictly follow. But still, we should not give so much attention for the regulation or strict rules and regulation. But we must see how much a person is advanced in Krishna consciousness. That we have to see. And if we go on criticizing everyone, 'Oh, you are not doing this. You are not doing this,' so many things according to Vedic culture... There may be so many things, but we are not concerned. As far as possible, people should be given chance to develop Krishna consciousness.
"Any way, if somebody takes to Krishna consciousness, naturally and generally it will be found that he is becoming gradually a perfect pious man, perfect honest man. That is the thing....Because he will relish. ...He will give it up. It is so nice thing. Some way or other, if you take to Krishna consciousness, your reluctance for sense gratification will automatically come." -- Bg 9.29-32 lecture, 12/20/66, NY