Patriarchy, Matriarchy or Anarchy?

A representative of ISKCON Women's Ministry complained that the men in the Hare Krishna movement  do not protect the women properly. She then suggested an artificial remedy called "International Law". Apparently, she neglected the fact that men in general can no longer protect the women and children, because for the last forty-five years they have been stripped of their power by feminism. For one thing, if they do show any sort of authority, they are quickly labeled "control freaks". And every one of us knows to beware of the feminist woman's wrath, backed by taxpayers money and laws that infiltrate every facet of western society. As a result, many men come from broken homes where Mom ruled and Dad didn't exist except in the form of a child support payment (Check out Cassie Jay's documentary "The Red Pill" for a discussion about why) And now Superwoman, who has generally taken over every job a man had done traditionally, wants to give him his job back?

Actually, we should know by now that feminism strives to abolish patriarchy. In a patriarchal society, men lead and women cooperate. But think about it- if we abolish patriarchy then... society must naturally shift to a matriarchy- where women lead and men cooperate. Otherwise, what do we have left?

Without leadership, all that's left is anarchy.

Anarchy is just a stronger way to describe a society without a brain or plan behind it, giving in to the whims and sense desires of individuals rather than they being guided as a group. Yet, it must exist in order for the purest intentions of feminist equality to exist. Howard J. Erlich writes:

"Anarchism is the only mode of social organization likely to prevent the recapitulation of social inequalities. Anarchist feminists know what other radicals often have to learn from bitter experience: the development of new forms of organization designed to get rid of hierarchy, authority, and power requires new social structures. Further, these structures must be carefully built and continually nurtured so that organizations function smoothly and efficiently, and so that new or informal elites will not emerge."

Sounds unnatural? complicated?  expensive?  Again, take "International Law" for an example (see the link above). It's a far cry from the simple life Srila Prabhupada envisioned for us. And the result of such is that devotees are now confused about instructing women what their duties are, since Lord Krishna's opinion has been scrapped.

In Krishna's varnasrama system, everyone has a job to do, and when this is neglected, there is trouble for the entire society. It has a ripple effect, This has been pointed out many times in previous posts: the sacrifices made by a wife and mother are not easy, so when there is no solid support or it becomes weakened by divorced and career or position-oriented women as role models, the chance of success in these very important duties is greatly reduced. Now so many women are without husband and family life. An intelligent person will quickly realize that equality is an impossibility materially. Always there will be persons who must cooperate with another in a subordinate role for a society to run smoothly and to get what they need in life.

Despite this fact, another woman proposed: "If the truth is to be told, it is about everyone: men, women and children in our society who require recognition, honor and respect with sufficient opportunities for devotional service, free from impositions of culture, race or gender (really she just mean's gender). It's about opening a solid, recognisable platform of services in all areas of equal proportion and recognising, identifying, correcting and preventing areas of mistreatment against any devotee in ISKCON by any other ISKCON member." Mayapur GBC meeting 1998

Sound familiar? This is a very good example of the anarchist feminist position described by Erlich above.*

Although such speeches may initially sound very nice, again such equality is not possible on the material platform. Rather, it is spiritual equality we must strive for, which is available internally. It means that the same facility, namely chanting Hare Krishna to develop all good qualities, the fruits of love of Godhead, is available to everyone regardless of race, gender and social position, and so on.
And "correcting and preventing areas of any mistreatment against any devotee"? Get real! Distress in our relationships is a fact of life! Good one day, bad the next. Good one minute, bad the next. We may be so afraid of disagreement and dissension, we may wish for utopia on earth, but disagreement and discord are just another part of dealings in any genuine relationships. Otherwise, trying to eliminate trouble and dissension altogether is something voidists and mayavadis wish for and propagate.

Therefore, let us promote Krishna consciousness instead, a loving tolerance and strength of spirit, rather than women's rights (what about the men's rights? the children's? the animals'? human society's?), feminist sensitivity training or the feminization of ISKCON society (Which are all signs of a matriarchy, by the way). There will always be men who need to assert their authority. These are the same men that will risk their lives on the battlefields, and should be offered all respect rather than shaming tactics and victimization self-justification. And let us consider that the Women's Ministry's attempt to forever perpetuate the adjustments made by Srila Prabhupada early on for his westernized disciples, minus propagating a varnasrama culture, is what gives rise to social disruptions in the first place! Srila Prabhupada explained this very simply:

Woman reporter: What happens when women are not subordinate to men?
Prabhupäda: Then there is disruption. There is disruption, social disruption. If the woman does not become subordinate to man, then there is social disruption. Therefore, in the western countries there are so many divorce cases because the woman does not agree to become subordinate to man. That is the cause.
Woman reporter: What advice do you have to women who do not want to be subordinate to men?
Prabhupäda: It is not my advice, but it is the advice of the Vedic knowledge that woman should be chaste and faithful to man.
Prabhupäda: I am not trying. You are already not equal with the man because in so many respects, your functions are different and man's functions are different. Why do you say artificially they are equal? As I told you that the husband and wife—the wife has to become pregnant, not the husband. How you can change this, both the husband and wife will be pregnant? Is it possible? Is it possible?
Woman reporter: No, it is not.
Prabhupäda: Then by nature one has to function differently from the other.
(TV interview, 7/9/75 Chicago)

Yet, it appears that "time and circumstance" preaching is basically the direction preached within ISKCON- perpetually. Sure, time and circumstance preaching has its place- to attract the conditioned souls, but so does a long term cultural cultivation that supports them afterwards. In other words, we see that preachers do bring people in, but afterwards they have no place to go. There is no social structure in which converts may be supported in everyday matters beyond the spiritual.  This is probably one of the main reasons people leave ISKCON, disenchanted;  Prabhupada's books on social organization remain largely theoretical or are labeled "impractical".

Yet, in many ways,  families in other faiths seem to be doing a better job following them than we do. Surprise! Check out the links from this blog which describe an upsurge in this regard. And they are doing a decent job of training their daughters to be chaste women and their sons to be responsible men. Too bad if ISKCON does not attract those sort of people to our movement, which would be the majority of sincere theists today. If conservative theists could just add Krishna consciousness - the perfection of patriarchy- they could conquer the world.

So what to do? Every society, down to the tiny ants, must have leadership. Who should lead? Whenever in doubt, devotees of the Lord are supposed to consult sastra. According to sastra, men have been assigned the leadership role and women are meant to cooperate. This is stated in every theistic scripture in the world. Why? Because normal women become pregnant; they are meant to become wives and mothers. To go against this is to go against nature. Ever notice how without contraception and abortion, feminism could not exist?  (And this is a reason why women shouldn't vote. Outnumbering decent men -thanks to the wars and so on -  it is women who voted for legal abortion). Nature's laws are God's laws and sastra is the final criterion for understanding who is a theist and who is not.

"The conditioned living entities are divided into two classes in this world. Those who are born with divine qualities follow a regulated life; that is to say they abide by the injunctions in scriptures and by the authorities. One should perform duties in the light of authoritative scripture. This mentality is called divine. One who does not follow the regulative principles as they are laid down in the scriptures and who acts according to his whims is called demoniac or asuric. There is no other criterion but obedience to the regulative principles of scriptures. It is mentioned in Vedic literature that both the demigods and the demons are born of the Prajäpati. The only difference is that one class obeys theVedic injunctions and the other does not." -Bg 16.1p

Take your pick, because the first likely outcome of a society predominated by feminism  is to abolish patriarchy and establish a matriarchy. It is what  we see currently with increasing horrors of abortion and weakened men who are over- attached to women.  There must be someone in charge for any society to exist.

At a Christian website I found similar concern: "Matriarchy is the behavioral extension of gender inversion--the goal being female dominance. Often, the man, having relinquished, beginning with the spiritual, his male role and responsibility creates a 'leadership vacuum' into which the woman is drawn (whether she likes to or not). Or the woman, under encouragement and support from mother or female associates, usurps her husband's position through subtle manipulation (maybe sexual) or outright abusiveness and violence, or both. If the husband is other than passive, conflict is inevitable. Over time, if she persists, she may likely destroy the marriage (or even her family!) in her bid for control and dominance.

"When this usurpation extends to the local church, the women may control from behind the scenes or increasingly take an up front leadership roles. Scripture is twisted or altogether ignored to allow women access to ministerial positions, equality of role, and authority over men."

 

So we need to fight the host culture which is producing all these unwanted things. Are we not taught to be servant of the servant? Why not let our men and sons do the job they are supposed to do? We can offer support by not only doing what we women are supposed to do, but by also desisting from the urge to do everything else for them. That is a good way to train them, to make them understand that they are needed. Prescribed duties are Krishna's plan given in every theistic scripture of the world. The difference is that we've been given detailed knowledge why and how to perform our duty while thinking of Krishna  That will please Krishna and if Krishna is pleased, the whole world will follow.

*Is this to say that there are anarchist feminists in our movement? Krishna Kirti prabhu (ACBSP) has a better explanation, one also mentioned in previous posts, how subtly and all pervasively the feminist attitudes have infiltrated our lives, not only before becoming devotees, but from various continued non-devotee association. He explains:

"Even in Srila Prabhupada’s presence there have been significant, internal controversies. The controversy between the sannyasis and the householders in 1976 is but one example, and many more came after Srila Prabhupada’s departure in 1977. Although ISKCON’s most infamous controversies are usually credited to immaturity, pride, or ambition, rarely have they been credited to prior conditioning—'normal' social attitudes and patterns of thinking that devotees developed before they came to ISKCON. If the Western countries are filled with impersonalism and voidism, then Western patterns of thought and their underlying ideologies have played an important yet invisible part in bringing about these controversies. The clash between ideologies underlying Western culture and ideologies underlying traditional Indian Vaishnava culture has been at the heart of these controversies."  - ISKCON'S Idealogy Part II, A-Brief-Exploration-of-the-History-of-ISKCON

Ksatriya

The ksatriya's qualities are most interesting:

• Diplomatic - but ready and able to fight when necessary
• Religious- perhaps to the extreme, seeing only the black and white of things due to their passionate nature, a stern people not sentimental, but they are:
• Devoted to the brahmanas- who guide them to see the finer shades of gray and therefore to make wise decisions.
• Tough- and super determined and can endure physical discomforts without complaint, but
• Proud- They cannot endure insult or disregard. They also don't mix with just anybody.
• Generous- They are prepared to give up anything to the worthy.
• Protective- Prepared to do anything to protect them, too, 
•  Resourceful - careful, energetic managers 
• Leaders -by engaging everyone properly in Krishna's service while setting an example.
• Powerful- Empowered by God to rule over others towards God consciousness and peaceful life.
• Keenly Intelligent - Able to grasp and execute the brahmanas' ruling.
• Heroic- Willing to take up a challenge and bravely stand up for what is right. Perhaps even recklessly, but again, that's where the brahmanas' guidance come in.

We need ksatriyas! Instead of an androgynous society, ISKCON needs to encourage ksatriya men along with the women who follow them- proud, pure, devoted women. Srimati Rukmini devi didn't act helpless when she discovered her marriage had gotten arranged to Sisupala instead of Krishna, and Queen Draupadi belted Jayadratha when he sinisterly tried to steal her away.  Queen-like women, who will attract and give birth to great souls to this world. Women who give meaning to the word "woman". Men who give meaning to the word "man". Fierce traditionalists tamed by brahmanas.

MEANWHILE

Although ksatriya men and women are greatly needed, they are not much appreciated at present by the politically correct. They are a stern people, and the ksatriya ladies do not mix.

Meanwhile, we have full faith in the power of the holy name and the supreme will of the Lord. The more we take shelter, the more hearts are cleansed to see clearly their worth, and people will naturally increase in godliness and religiousness as individuals and strive to do what is right which would include resurrecting a ksatriya varna, encouraging the chastity of first class ladies, starting varnasrama villages, protesting philosophical errors, etc.

Satsvarüpa däsa Goswami: One day Prabhupäda called in the G.B.C. members. It was in the afternoon, and we could see he was feeling very blissful. He was hearing the kirtana in the temple. He said everyone should come to Mäyäpur and chant twenty-four hours a day. He said, "There is so much room here. The morning class is so nice-Prahläda Mahäräja's instruction a million years ago. A five-year-old boy was speaking. The chanting, according to Bhaktivinoda Thäkura, is the only solace. It is nothing material, the chanting. Ajämila called the name of Näräyana and was saved."

Prabhupäda said that batches of devotees should come to Mäyäpur so that there should always be five hundred men present. Then a devotee said, "In America they are trying to chant more, twelve hours a day, trying to get a twenty-four-hour kirtana schedule." "Yes, everywhere," Srila Prabhupäda said, "this chanting should go on. Instead of meetings, resolutions, dissolutions, revolutions, and then no solutions, there should be chanting."  --SP Lilamrta 6.49

fluffy biscuits

Krishna loves butter. Here's something yummy to offer to Him with it.

(Preheat oven to 450 degrees)

INGREDIENTS:

• 2 c atta or whole wheat pastry flour
• 4 t baking powder
• 1/4 t baking soda
• 3/4 t salt
• 4 T butter, chilled (this is most important. The shock of chilled butter meeting a 400 degree oven is what makes the finished product fluffy.)
• 1 cup buttermilk or thinned yogurt, chilled

PREPARATION:

1. Combine dry ingredients in a mixing bowl.
2. Cut the butter into the flour mixture until the consistency is like fine crumbs.
3. Make a well in the mixture and pour in the buttermilk. Stir briefly to begin moistening all the dry ingredients.
4. Empty contents onto a lightly floured, clean surface and lightly knead the ingredients by  folding 5 or six times, incorporating all remaining mixture that is still loose. 
5. Gently pat the dough until it is about 1" thick. Cut into biscuits. I used a 3" diameter cutter to make 8 large biscuits. Gently push together any remaining scraps to form a last biscuit or two.
6. Place biscuits close together on a ghee greased tray (I use my cast iron skillet). Bake for 10-12 minutes or until lightly browned on the edges and the top is firm and beginning to brown.

I offered these to Krishna this morning with a bowl of wet kitchri and a bowl of fresh, honey sweetened yogurt.

DROP BISCUITS
I whip these up much, much more often. Again, I bake them on a gheesed cast iron skillet. Makes about 8 biscuits.

Preheat oven 400 degrees
INGREDIENTS:

• 1 1/2 c atta or whole wheat flour (I grind my own)
• 1 T baking powder
• 3 T sugar
• 2-3 T ghee
• salt (as desired, optional)
• Whey (from yogurt or paneer. Or simply use what's available- couple tablespoons yogurt or sour cream and water)

PREPARATION:

1. Whisk all the dry ingredients with ghee together in a mixing bowl.
2. Add the whey. If you don't have a lot of whey, also add water. 
3. Stir lightly until all the ingredients are moistened well.
4. Scoop biscuit sized amounts of batter onto a cast iron skillet coated with a little ghee.
5. Bake 10 minutes. Offer to Lord Krishna with hot milk for a light evening snack.

My Choice

At seven A.M., I don't envy the mob
Who rise, shine and shower and go to the job.
In rain, sleet or storm, whether snowing or blowing,
I stay home and savor the joys of not going.

Cheers to you dears out fulfilling yourselves.
I'll bake a nice cake, and I'll straighten my shelves,
I'll knit babe some socks and with the kids take a walk.
If my neighbor drops in, I'll have time for a talk.

I'd rather have a family than fortune or fame;
I don't think my apron's a Red Badge of Shame.
You're welcome to banking, computers and math,
Guns, plumbing and business. I'll take a hot bath!

Art, music, reading—the good things of life
Are no less my own, since I'm mother and wife.
If I scrub, mop or dig in the garden, I'm free...

Remember, the choices were all made by me.

-Helene Lewis Coffer, lightly adapted

"O son of Kunti, all that you do, all that you eat, all that you offer and give away, as well as all austerities that you may perform, should be done as an offering unto Me." -Bhagavad-gita As It Is 9.27

"A Kṛṣṇa conscious person is always dovetailed with the supreme desire, for he has no desire for personal sense gratification. He moves exactly like a part of a machine. As a machine part requires oiling and cleaning for maintenance, similarly, a Kṛṣṇa conscious man maintains himself by his work just to remain fit for action in the transcendental loving service of the Lord." -Bhagavad gita As It Is 4.21p

Crunchy Cauliflower Pakoras

Always a hit and-cooked in ghee- the best vegetarian substitute for fried chicken. Ghee-fried makes cauliflower pakoras a truly delicious choice for "animal food without slaughter."

INGREDIENTS:

• 3 c besan
• 1 T ground cumin
• 1 T ground coriander
• 1 T ground black pepper
• 3/4 t hing
• 1/2 T turmeric
• 1 T salt
• water
• ghee for deep frying
• cauliflower, chopped in nugget-sized flowerettes

PREPARATION:

1. Chop the cauliflower into nuggets for coating with batter.
2. Combine all dry ingredients.
3. Add water to make a semi thick batter
4. Before dipping the cauliflower into the batter, dip them into flour first. That way the batter will stick better to the vegetable. Then after dipping into the batter, deep fry in hot ghee until crispy on the outside and tender on the inside. They will be a deep browned color. Ideally, they are darker than the ones pictured. They'll be more tender.
5. Drain on a clean kitchen towel.

Offer to Krishna immediately, with a favorite chutney.

VARIATION: Gourmet friend Katelin recommends replacing the besan with rice flour and replacing the plain water with club soda. The result was a batch of pakoras with ultra crispness!

All Glories to Sri Nityananda Rama!

                   
A favorite song for offering Lord Nitai on His holy appearance day:

DALALERA GITA by Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakura
(1)
boro sukher khabor gāi
surabhi-kuñjete nāmer hāṭ khule’che (khoda nitāi)
(2)
boro mojār kathā tāy
śraddhā-mūlye śuddha-nāma sei hāṭete bikāy
(3)
jata bhakta-bṛnda basi’
adhikārī dekhe’ nāma becche daro kasi’
(4)
jadi nāma kinbe, bhāi
āmār sańge calo, mahājaner kāche jāi
(5)
tumi kinbe kṛṣṇa-nāma
dasturi loibo āmi, pūrṇa ha’be kāma
(6)
boro doyāl nityānanda
śraddhā-mātra lo’ye den parama-ānanda
(7)
ek-bār dekhle cakṣe jal
‘gaura’ bole’ nitāi den sakala sambal
(8)
den śuddha kṛṣṇa-śikṣā
jāti, dhana, vidyā, bala nā kore apekṣā
(9)
amani chāḍe māyā-jāl
gṛhe thāko, bane thāko, nā thāke jañjāl
(10)
ār nāiko kalir bhoy
ācaṇḍāle den nāma nitāi doyāmoy
(11)
bhaktivinoda ḍāki’ koy
nitāi-caraṇa binā ār nāhi āśroy

TRANSLATION
1) I am singing news of great happy tidings. Lord Nityananda Himself has opened a market-place of the Holy Name in Surabhi-Kunja.

2) The news of its great results is that He is selling the pure Holy Name in that market-place for the price of only one's faith.

3) Lord Nityananda, the proprietor of the market, seeing all the devotees become attracted, is selling them the Holy Name after bargaining with them.

4) O brother, if you want to buy the Holy Name, then go with me. We must go to the presence of that great soul, Nityananda.

5) You will buy the name of Krsna, I will take my commission and all of our desires will be fulfilled.

6) Lord Nityananda is greatly merciful. Taking only one's faith, He gives the highest ecstasy.

7) If Nitai sees only once tears in the eyes while chanting the name "Gaura", then He gives all resources to that person.

8) He gives the pure teachings of Krsna to everyone and does not care for one's birth, wealth, knowledge and strength.

9) Now, giving up the illusory snare of Maya, either remain in household life or in the forest as a sannyasi for no more troubles remain.

10) There is no more fear of the age of Kali. The merciful Nityananda gives the Holy Name to even the candalas.

11) Bhaktivinoda calls out: "Except for the lotus feet of Lord Nityananda there is no other shelter!"

pineapple chutney

 The general standard is a chutney that is "Too hot to eat, but too sweet to resist"!

INGREDIENTS:

• 1 medium-large ripe pineapple, washed, peeled, cored and chopped into bite-sized chunks
• 2-3 T ghee
• 1 T grated ginger
• 1 t cumin seeds 
• 1/2 t dried red chilis (or as desired)
• 1/2 t coriander powder
• 1/2 t fenugreek seeds
• 1/2 t turmeric
• 2/3-1 c firmly packed brown sugar (or turbinado sugar if preferred)

PREPARATION:
1. Heat the ghee in a saucepan and fry the cumin seeds and chilies until they brown. Add turmeric and pineapple chunks.
2. Stir-fry a few minutes. Cover and cook over a low- medium flame for 15-30 minutes, stirring occasionally.
3. Remove the cover. Mash a bit. Stir in the sugar and cook over a low flame until jam-like thickness. If in a hurry and there is  a lot of juice (especially if making a large quantity), I mix water into a little arrow root and stir into the hot mixture to thicken. It only takes a few minutes. Turn off the heat when desired thickness is attained.

Offer to Krishna with piping hot pakoras.

Handling a Difficult Man

Helpful advice from Helen B. Andelin:

What do I mean by a difficult man? It can mean many things but especially one who is impatient, irritable, angry, grumpy, stubborn, obstinate or just distant. In the 1980 TV movie series, “All in the Family,” Archie Bunker is a perfect example of a difficult man and his wife Edith handled him remarkably well. What are the...rules for handling such a difficult man? I recommend the following:

First, check into your own life...Do you have a smooth running home? Are things picked up around the house? Dinner on time? When dinner is unnecessarily late and he is increasingly hungry, it can bring out the worst in a man. Are you spending too much money? Too much time talking on the phone? And how are you treating him?... Do you build him, or trample on him? Are you nourishing his soul with appreciation and admiration, and filling his other masculine needs?...

Next, check into his life. Is he having problems in his work? Are his plans being frustrated? Is he overloaded with responsibility with no solution in sight? Under a strain? Is he working for a goal that is draining off his energy, his patience? Or is his life the opposite - dull and monotonous, passing him by with nothing to show for it? How is his health? Does he feel up to par physically? If any of the above applies you can help him immeasurably by being patient and understanding, by expressing sympathy for his problems and trust in his ability to solve problems or reach his goals. When a man’s life is difficult his wife has her best opportunity to prove her worth. She is more indispensable to his happiness.

And last, you may have to accept some of his obstinacy as inborn. Some men have thin nerves. Life is more difficult for them. So, accept his short tempered nature as a part of him and don’t try to change him into a sweet tempered man or you may be in for more trouble. He may not know how to change and this can frustrate him, trap his emotions and make him more ill tempered than ever. It has been observed by some that the higher a man’s goals the more short-tempered he is inclined to be. We have covered the three possible causes of a man’s difficult nature and the best way to deal with them. But, how should a woman react at the moment a man is difficult? The following are two positive methods...:

One way is to be feminine. Use a gentle approach. An old Christian Hymn reads, “You can speak a gentle word, to the heart with anger stirred.” It is a method of handling an irritable husband in a way that will disarm him so that his anger softens or even disappears.

An excellent example of this is the way in which Mrs. Carl Sandberg handled her husband, recorded in the book, A Great and Glorious Romance. The Sandberg’s daughter Helga writes of her parents, “There never were loud arguments back and forth in our house. My father raged and roared, and often. But it was one way. My mother coaxed him out of it. Once when he was very old I saw him pull at a door that was stuck. He rattled the handle and shouted. My mother, a small woman, looked up at him and patted his chest. “What a fine strong voice,” she said. Disarmed he stood there, in love. It was a thread established early, and woven through their life.”

The second and probably the best way to handle a difficult man, at the moment he is difficult, is to react (with)...teasing playfulness... The prime example I have given of this quality is Babbie from the novel The Little Minister by James Barrie. Babbie is such an excellent example that I have devoted most of the chapter to quotes from the book, which demonstrate her childlike quality of teasing playfulness in handling the short tempered Little Minister in a way that won his heart and soul. To quote from the book:

Babbie had tricked the Little Minister into helping her escape through a line of soldiers by pretending to be his wife. Gavin was furious. “It was beautiful,” she exclaimed, clasping her hands merrily.

“It was iniquitous,” he answered. “And I, a minister.”

After listening to his scolding, Babbie’s face changed and she became as a child. “I am very sorry,” she said, as if he had caught her stealing jam. The hood had fallen back and she looked at him pleadingly. She had the appearance of one who was entirely in his hands.

“I do not understand you,” Gavin said weakly. Only a few hours ago you were a gypsy girl in a fantastic dress. Now you fling a cloak over your shoulders and become a fine lady. Who are you?”

Babbie answered mischievously, “Perhaps it is the cloak that has bewitched me.” She slipped out of it. “Ay” she said, as if surprised. “It was just the cloak that did it, for now I am a poor ignorant little lassie again. My goodness but clothes do make a difference to a woman.”

This was sheer levity, so the dignified minister walked away, but he was charmed.

A Word of Warning
When speaking to a man... take particular care that you do not wound him emotionally. By this I mean do not say or do anything that would make him feel guilty, ignorant, anxious, humiliated or inferior. Such feelings can be painful, sometimes injurious and will do nothing for either of you but put a wedge in your relationship. Avoid awakening these negative feelings in your husband, your children or anyone you are cultivating a relationship with. The only way we can help anyone to grow is to look to their better side and help them find happiness.

apple chutney

Another chutney? At the buffet where I assist my husband, I always make the chutney, so here's another customer favorite to add to my collection:

INGREDIENTS:
6 medium large apples, peeled, cored and chopped
4 T ghee
2 t grated ginger
2 cinnamon sticks
1 t anise seeds
2 or 3 dried red chillies, crushed
5 cloves
1 t turmeric
1/4 c water
1/2 c brown sugar

PREPARATION:
1. Chaunce the spices in the ghee and add apples; stir fry.
2. Add water cover and cook on high 15 minutes, stirring often until apples get juicy and soften; mash well.
3. Add sugar and continue to cook until thick. Let cool. You may wish to pick out all the hard pieces like the cinnamon sticks before offering. Delicious served with cauliflower pakoras.

pumpkin

Not only do they look nice around the house, pumpkins make me think about how kind Krishna is to living beings, how perfect He has created and arranged everything for our well being. What's neat about pumpkins and similar foods such as butternut and spaghetti squash is that they have a long shelf life. That means fresh vegetables to eat even during the cold season without the trouble of drying or preserving them in some way. They just need a cool dark place for storage.

Pumpkins are rich in vitamins, too. They are delicious prepared in various ways- pies, cakes, soups, even cookies. Perhaps the nicest way to prepare it, though, is the simplest. Just cut the pumpkin into slices and roast in a pan with a little ghee.
Another way is to put larger slices in a pan of water and steam before adding salt, pepper and butter.
It's easier than how I used to do it below:

INGREDIENTS:

• 1 small fresh pumpkin, seeded and peeled and cut into chunks (or the pumpkin may be prebaked at 400 degrees for about 45 minutes and then cooled to make cutting easier. By cutting it into large sections and not baking too long, it should turn out less mushy)
• 4-6 T butter
• salt
• 1/2 t ground black pepper
• 1/4-1/2 t nutmeg (optional)
• water
• salt

PREPARATION:
1. Melt the butter, add pepper and nutmeg and the pumpkin. Stir on medium to high heat a few minutes, coating the pumpkin with the butter and spices.
2. Add a little water and cover and cook pumpkin on high heat about five-ten minutes (longer and with more water if the pumpkin is not prebaked) until tender. Add salt and offer. Serve piping hot with parathas on a cold morning.

KRISHNA CONSCIOUS CARVINGS
For those who like carving pumpkins, here's one our artistic son-in-law carved last October:

Jaya Jagannatha!

Waste Not; Want Not

For me it's a lot of fun- a hobby even (or maybe its due to my being the progeny of a concentration camp survivor)- to find ways to reuse, recycle and repurpose every day items.

VEGGIE SCRAPS
Instead of throwing out the leaves and or stems of various greens, cauliflower, cabbage, etc., they can be chopped very fine and added to soups! Takes longer to use them up and therefore is a good way to stretch the food budget

WRAPPING PAPER
One example is the paper for these wrapped gifts. It came from the lining of large bags of flour in a temple kitchen that ordinarily get tossed at an astounding rate. The paper got new life when it was decorated with splatters of holiday colors and topped with silvery snowflakes (made from sour cream inner seals).

UNUSUAL BOOK ENDS
Google image search sparks dozens of ways to reuse and repurpose various items, even the unusual like brand new license plates that were not needed (an old man fell asleep and totaled our truck). With a little bending they make suitable book ends. They can be spray painted and then decorated with acrylic paints or left as is.

OSMOSIS

Got some wilted celery, lettuce, carrots  or coriander in the refrigerator? Well, as long as its not rotting, you don't have to throw it away. They look that way because they are dehydrated. To rehydrate put them in cold water for about an hour or two,  shake off excess water and then put back to the refrigerator whatever you are not using right away. Things can be revived this way, via a process involving osmosis.

Now... if I could just get those wrinkles out of my face...

EMBROIDERY FLOSS DISPENSER

I found a way to reuse empty dental floss dispensers. I peeled the label off and removed the innerparts. Then I rolled up some floss to put inside. Each color can get its own compartment. That way they won't get tangled and there's a little cutter on the top, too!

SALT AND PEPPER SHAKERS

These used to be spice containers, but got repurposed for the dinner table. The glue under the labels was super tough, which is what would probably discourage most people from removing them, but after soaking overnight a razor quickly finished the job.

STORAGE JARS FOR THE CUPBOARD

These were soaked first to remove the labels. Some labels are tough, so a razor may be needed after peeling off as much as possible by hand.  If the glue is really stubborn, dab vegetable oil on it and then rub vigorously with a terry cloth. Wash in warm soapy water after the glue is removed.

REUSED BLANKET FILLING

The outer cover was badly torn. First the filling was well washed and dried, and then a new patchwork covering sewn on made from durable fabric odds and ends.

WOODEN SPOON MAKEOVER

Wooden spoons used in cooking inevitable get burned. When this happens, a sharp whittling knife can be used to trim off the burnt part (not shown in this picture) and produce an almost new cooking spoon to continue using rather than throwing away. And speaking of burning, kids can have fun wood burning designs on the handles.

REUSING PLASTIC LIDS

These can be used as a embroidery hoop or frame. The top lip of a large tub of sour creams was cut off along with the inner portion of the lid itself. Snap back together to form the hoop with the cloth in between.

framed artwork, fun craft for kids

HAT MAKEOVER

Unraveling the top yarn and binding off, an ear warmer was made and the unraveled yarn was used to crochet a decorative flower. Instructions are available on YouTube.

JAPA BEAD REPAIR 

Simple beeswax can be melted and poured into cracked beads which acts like a superglue when it hardens.

MAKE STUFF FROM STRIPS OF CLOTH

Rag crochet hot pad:

Rag weaving. To sit on, sleep with (make more blocks like it), cover something or use as a kitchen mat...

 

REUSING PAPER ALREADY WRITTEN OR PRINTED ON VIA COLORED MARKERS

Got junk mail? Old or useless books? Or any piece of paper already written on will do. 

Tossed and Found

When it comes to furnishing a home, what's your style? A popular one is eclectic which means mixing and matching items from many different styles. For a devotee it also means depending on Krishna to send stuff our way.  In that case, it is fortunate to live near an alley in which pieces of furniture may be found abandoned by neighbors, and with a little Googling (especially image search), new ways can be found to revive otherwise homeless pieces.  Below is a sampling:
 

This drawerless dresser got turned into shelving for art supplies. To look more like shelves, the middle portion of each shelf had the middle piece removed that drawers once slided on to. Bulk containers were added instead. Some graffiti was removed via a gentle scrubbing with baking soda.

These two shelving units appeared at different times and finally ended up paired together on a table top in my sewing corner for storing sewing and crafting supplies. The lamp on the top shelf to the right was also broken somewhat, but turned upwards, still gives good lighting.

This chair had its crumbly, musty stuffing and a torn cover removed. It was re-covered with a cozy blanket instead.. It used to have worn looking wooden armrests and leg coverings, too, but it was decided- to save time- to do without them in the final result. It was quickly claimed for a student's desk.

 This chair found its way into the kitchen, along with a new seat cover that matches the kitchen curtains. What's especially nice about the chair is that the seat is removable from latches underneath it, so the cover fabric can be easily changed at whim.

This ottoman just needed a good dusting and a little wiping and sun baths before making it to the bedroom. It not only makes good extra seating, but has a storage compartment inside when the top is lifted off- something a small child may be fascinated by.

Krishna kindly provides, so that like the spider that sits in its web, one can patiently wait for stuff to show up instead of wasting valuable time hunting it down. Also we learn to "Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without" (a conservation motto during WWII)

And by Krishna's mercy, it usually takes only some cleaning and creative loving for found pieces to get functioning again.

SB 2.2.5: "Are there no torn clothes lying on the common road? Do the trees, which exist for maintaining others, no longer give alms in charity? Do the rivers, being dried up, no longer supply water to the thirsty? Are the caves of the mountains now closed, or, above all, does the Almighty Lord not protect the fully surrendered souls?"

paratha

This looks like the stuffed version, but its not and its quicker to make. Super simple for breakfast along with jam, chickpea stuffing and so on. Often made with ghee in the dough and folded to create flakiness, but i discovered its unnecessary for one in a hurry. A lot of times, I just grab from the fridge available chapati dough which can be cooked like a paratha just as well (just less flaky, so maybe I invented something new like a chappara?).

INGREDIENTS:

2 cups flour

salt, as desired

1 T ghee (opt.)

water (start with 3/4 c)

ghee for frying

PREPARATION:

1.  Add salt and rub the ghee into flour if used.

2. Add enough water until a semi soft dough is formed. Start with 3/4 c, add more if needed. Humidity and other factors affect final result. Also, keep in mind that the dough softens more from sitting awhile before cooking. Knead well and leave aside covered for at least 30 minutes.

3. Roll out like chapatis and cook on one side in a cast iron skillet until bubbles form. Drizzle a little ghee on top and flip over (cooked a lot like a grilled cheese sandwich).

4. Cook on other side a few seconds until brown spots form, drizzle on a little more ghee and flip over once more. While cooking the paratha will puff up and you can press down with a spatula to aid the process. Remove from heat and cover with a kitchen towel until ready to offer.

There are videos on YouTube for more help (the folded, flaky kind here). Some use a tava or wok shaped pan, but I just use a cast iron griddle and get good results. These are really worth learning to make and become super simple and quick with practice. Although some call a paratha also a chapati, to my knowledge a paratha is made by using ghee or oil, while with a chapati, a little butter or ghee may be added at the end of cooking it over a separate flame. Also chapati, roti and phulka are basically the same thing, just the words are different according to region, I suppose.